Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Harry Potter (Sex) the half erect prince {David}

- preface this entire document.

I will spoil this movie in the following graphs.

I've been a big fan of the Potta' movies, have never read any of the books.

So with trepidation I begin my dissection.

Enjoyed the growing up before our eyes cast choices- and the fact that they are now starting to intermingle with the opposite sexes making for cute moments and funny set pieces related to hormonal teens getting a hold of some serious magic. Weasley (Rupert Grint aka opi cunningham) ingesting the love potion mistakenly secondary to mumps measles and Rubella's (Romilda Vane played by cutie-pie Anna Shaffer) sending Harry some treats, and all that follows is fun. The little interchange between Hermione (Emma "awkward" Watson) and Ron (weasley) and Potter doing the whole goalie manipulation either by direct magic or false courage.

As usual the whole unraveling of clues and mystery and the onion that is each movie was satisfactory although I grow tired of some of the elements. Mostly because I really felt the entire time I knew where it was going, I guess my slight and I say slight delight is that Drako Malfoy's (tom felton who looks like a cross between home alone and children of the corn) target was Dumbledorf and not the Chosen One- Radcliffe's Potter. This was at least a decent reveal. Really though- as soon as Severus Snape makes the unbreakable bond it foreshadowed this whole situation. SO the whole time I spent waiting for Drako to either kill Potter or Dumbledorf and know that snape would have to buck up and do it. The brief meeting between snape and dumbledorf and the fact that seventeen times dumbledore repeats "harry you must do as I ask of you" left me figuring out something was going to happen to (par for the course great Michael Gambon's) Albus Dumbledore.

Harry sits useless- as I sat anticipating something good, And then magically nothing. Snape is a good guy and I cannot believe that one of the main characters is dead.

Minimal battle scenes, no climactic battle scene, Nothing I haven't seen before. The power of the Whore Crust? Hans Guberman= Snape = Die Hard Death fall off building scene = someone's similar scene= fart sounds- the air is let out of this movie that somehow should have been combined with another movie- someone just took 10 dollars.

The world is cool the magic is cool the little effects really bring the awesomeness of Hogwarts to life. But a giant shit for farts anticlimatic ending ruined it for me so much more cool stuff in the others, I guess you can give some credit that at least one movie did not end with a battle with Voldemort or Tom Riddle.

If I had to score it on my scoring sheet.

A. 17/20
B. 10/20
C. 13/20
D. 10/20
E. 5/20
total: 55/100

Potter you flunked- that somber tone in the theatre after the film was a collective grasp of WTF that's it?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Harry Potter 6 (Brodie)


I really liked it. I had just finished hearing the book read aloud in my house, so I was more keen to the differences in the story. However, some of the changes were slight improvements and others were acceptable and understandable. There were a few things that I had wished they'd done differently, but that's to be expected.

The characters are still really enjoyable to watch and their interactions as endearing as ever. The "bad guys" are not as present as they are in the other films, but their threat looms--at least I thought so. I'd have to hear from people who haven't read the books, I think. Daniel Radcliff's and Emma Watson's acting isn't the greatest, but they're still able to involve me in their stories so can't complain.

The ending is intense and hard to rate objectively after having just read the book, so again I'd like to hear from the movie-only viewers who didn't know what was going to happen. Also, being such a fan, it's not likely that I'll be confused by things, but I wonder if some parts were not well explained.

It seems The Deathly Hollows (the seventh and final book) will be split into two movies being released in 2010 and 2011. With the same director and screenwriter who did this film working on the final two, I greatly look forward to them.

Gran Torino (David)

I'd like to formally take credit for the ABC afterschool special analogy Brodie used.

I absolutely loved this movie. Probably laughed way to much at this bitter beer face of an old man that- let's face it- is Clint. In this movie it's even better so much so his name is like Clunt- great performance even though you could dismiss some of it because Eastwood has been here before.

Overall- I went in thinking it was going to be dirty harry in the 8-mile but it ended up being heart warming at times and the movie sort of changed a major beat about half way through which I felt was tangible and reflected growth of characters on screen.

Upon second viewing- the gang member cousins' including "Fong" are really re"dick"ulous at times. Never the less I let it go for one more racist rant or "old-man, no holding back, tell it how it is-athon"

Yum Yum.
Click Clack
Ting Ting
old bony finger cocked like gun and fanning the hammer back- thanks Clunt.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Gran Torino (Brodie)

Good script. Great characters, interesting development. Good plot, even if it was a little cliched. My only (somewhat large) complaint was that the acting/dialogue/delivery of the kids was--as my friend desccribed it--like an afterschool special. Their performances felt fake and out of place. Yet overall, I really enjoyed the movie.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Transformers 2 (ROTF-Liam)

This is going to be short, unlike the movie.

It wasn’t as good as the first Transformers. The jokes got dumber and the explosions got louder.

I didn’t like that all of the cool, giant robot fights were all in non-descript locations like forests and deserts and warehouses. In the first one they fought on city streets and highways. Seeing a Decepiticon crush an SUV gives the robots a kind of grand scale that just doesn’t come with knocking over a christmas tree. Setting the climactic battle in what was essentially a set left over from a minor fight scene in the first film was, to quote Optimus Prime in the first movie, a “big mistake.”

My biggest issue, though, was the lack of character development. And no, not the human characters. I mean, who cares about them?. I mean the robots. They added a lot of robot cannon fodder but that just means less screen time for the real robots. I wanted to see the Autobots get upset over Prime’s death. I wanted to see Ratchet and Ironhide strategizing. I didn’t need to see robot scrote and dozens of Decepticon “red-shirts.” Actually, the robot scrote was pretty awesome.

But, I still loved it nonetheless. [SPOILER ALERT] There’s this tinkerbell-ish scene near the end where Optimus Prime comes back to life and gets some upgrades and flies off to kick some ass. When I went to see this movie for the second time there was a kid that was about 7 years old or so that started screaming with glee and jumping on his seat when this happened. THAT is why I love this movie.

On a side note, I think it’s funny that they’ve “updated” one of Optimus Primes’ tag lines. In the cartoon he usually said “Autobots, transform & roll out!” But seeing as how Optimus is all “post-9/11” these days he now just says “let’s roll!” Even when he, in fact, flies.

In response to Brodie's "the portrayal of all women as always wanting sex was... um, offensive. " I mean, there's only two women in the movie: Mom and Fox. And fox, while undeniably just there for eye candy, doesn't actually act all that lusty in the movie. The mom does, I guess, but it's more of an empty nest kind of gag. I guess you really mean the sluticon? That's not even a woman! That's like the people who get upset at futurama because bender drinks and smokes. THEY'RE ROBOTS!

Transformers 2 (Brodie)

Brace yourself. I'm going in...

I hated Transformers. I left 10 minutes before the end because I had another movie to catch someplace else. I thought Transformers was a display of everything that's wrong with Hollywood.

The characters that we already knew and loved got stupid, boring, unfunny, and we had little idea of their motivations. Every character was annoying, and I just wanted them to shut the hell up. The jokes and dialogue which were interesting and engaging in the first movie, now seemed like they came straight from boys' junior high locker rooms.

The portrayal of all women as always wanting sex was... um, offensive. Even Sam's mother fit into that category. The female transformers didn't seem too bad but hard to know since the second they spoke, they were killed.

The violence didn't get me to emote at all. It was senseless and displayed in a way that we didn't even associate with the humans that were dying--the submarine, Shanghai, the aircraft carrier. Iron Man, I loved. ID4 was highly entertaining. Shoot 'Em Up was trying to be ironic, but dropped the ball and left me flat and confused. I didn't care about the good guys or the bad guys enough in Transformers. Although, I do agree that the Decepticons were more scary than the Terminators by far.

Now, I understand wanting to see robots beat each other up, rip each other's faces off... that's good entertainment (no joke). However, 2 hours and 45 minutes of it? Really? Close to 3 hours of robot fights?!

Ugh. I remember staring enviously at a man walking out after an hour. I should have just followed him.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Transformers 2 (Charlie)

I dont care what people say about it, I loved it!

I was not looking for a huge plot with lots of twists and turns. I wanted to see Robots blowing each other up and that's I what I got. I mean, it's a movie based from an action figure. This is not going to be the Godfather or Sound of Music. It was better then Terminator.

So I liked it! I will call it a guilty pleasure.

I did not think the jokes were as funny as the first one. The mother getting high was a little stupid and was one of my few complaints of the movie. I love Julie White and I felt like that bit was below her.

Now to me violence is a very fine line in movies. I am an action junky, so I can take a lot. But I do see when it is too much and needless. Transformer did not bother me. Maybe after seeing Terminator where no one dies I was looking for a menacing villain.

I was flipping through the channels the other day and Independence Day was on. Now the Aliens in that wipe out a good portion of our population. By the end of the movie I wanted to jump in a jet and take them on. This would be bad because I don't know how to fly a plane. I think the way the Decepticons were attacking those people made me want to go to Egypt and fight some two-story tall robots around the pyramids.... and I also really want to see the pyramids.

For me violence only works if it gets some kind of emotion out of me. Anger, Sadness, Excitement... ID4 and Transformers made me mad. Saving Private Ryan mad me angry and sad. Really any WW2 movie make me angry and sad. Iron Man got me excited (and I don't mean naughty excited). Movies like Terminator or Shoot 'Em Up just did nothing for me. If you have not seen Shoot 'Em Up with Clive Owen, don't... I am still mad at the guy who told me to watch it.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Terminator 4 (Charlie)

I thought it was ok but it was not the best movie. They should have made it more of a war movie then plain action

Saving Private Ryan was a war movie where I cared about the characters. We traveled with them and when they died we felt bad. In the end we hate the Nazis even more (which is not hard to begin with). With T4 none of the main characters died so it did not make you hate the Terminators. I was not sitting in the theater saying to myself "Get those Terminator Bastards!"

Now that I think of it, very few people were killed in the movie. Even almost all the people that are captured end up being rescued.

So in the end, if you want to hate your villain then base them off Nazis.

Terminator 4 (Brodie)

I completely agree. T4 left me flat. The first two (let's keep the third out of this) were great because the good guys and the bad guys were so badass. The bad guy was unstoppable but we had faith that somehow the good guys would prevail--without the cheesy and predictable discussions of the power of the human heart (vomit).

These terminators, as you said, weren't scary, and John Connor was about as whiny, weak, and unsure of himself as the pubescent Eddie Furlong of T2. If the previous three ok, I'll bring 3 in for now) told us anything, it was that John Connor is the best and baddest leader of the resistance. Big disappointment there.

I loved seeing the early models of the T-1000. Although, I feel like John's reaction to having to kill the closest thing he's ever had to a father should have been, at least in some minor way, well... a reaction.

Why would anyone want their movie to look like the Matrix sequels by having an architect reveal scene? And it was a little embarassing to watch computers communicate orally. Do T4's writers still use typewriters and pens? 'Cause we, the audience, know better than that.

Overall, it was somewhat entertaining, and I might watch it again if I catch it on TV. If Hollywood wants to mess with established franchises with strong fan bases, they need to put in the effort... well, at least if they want my very important approval. (Yes, yes, I know that they're just trying to make money and don't give a crap. Well... I have a blog! So there.)